In Which I Did Not Make Women's Chorus

The first day of callbacks, I was next to someone with a really strong vibrato.  It threw me off and I hoped that the small group auditions the next day wouldn't have me next to her again.  She was.  Even when I knew it was coming, the first time I heard her practically alone (there was another person, but she was very quiet) I got blindsided anyway, missing the first part of the the phrase we were supposed to sing, and I actually...flinched?  It was more than flinching, it was like my body instinctively tried to move as far away from her as possible without my feet actually kicking into gear.  I was going to try and blend with the group, but my voice was definitely not going to fit, so I thought to myself, "screw it, I'm going to just sing and ignore them."  So for the rest of the audition, I pretty much did.  Or tried, anyway.

I don't know if this is what made me not get in the choir.  Practically flailing in the middle of an audition is anything but professional, after all.  The only comment I got was to do better with my breath--I know this is a problem--it's always been a problem with me, and I tried to do better, but being knocked off-kilter as bad as I was, I'm not sure how I did.  Almost all of my technique was on autopilot--which is on par for an audition, but not to this degree.  My mind was so distracted I barely remembered to use a schwa vowel while in the middle of my Alleluias--and that's about the only thing I can remember now.

Maybe Sister Applonie accounted for everything going wrong with me and I still wasn't going to get in.  I'm a bit out of practice, chorally speaking.  My intonation might have been wrong as my mind was memorizing a range of acceptability (I was one of the last to audition, so my mind absorbed a lot of different people) rather than the pure necessary notes.  I just don't know.  The only way I will know is if I ask, and somehow that feels wrong to me--unprofessional, somehow, like I'm trying to justify getting another chance.  Sure, I'd like one, but there are a lot of other girls who'd like one too.  I've been unprofessional enough already, I don't want to act like it even more.

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Edited to add:

I think I figured out what might have been the deciding factor: when they asked about whether I was returning Winter semester, I said "maybe."  I think I might have been the only person to say "maybe."  Why did I say it?  Because I was "only" 80-90% sure I'd be returning--the 10-20% being the off chance that I'd either consider Women's Chorus too much (unlikely) or that I had to take a class in order to graduate in April that conflicted.  That's it.  In hindsight, I should have just said "yes" instead of being completely honest and asked for forgiveness later if needed.

But I'm looking on the bright side right now: I'm going to take University Chorale with Dr. Broomhead again, and he's awesome.   I'll be more likely to spend time at the apartment than stick on campus for the three hours between Women's Chorus (which is daily) and work, since Chorale is only twice a week.  More time at home means I'm more likely to be around to socialize with people in the ward (which is something that I need to work on, but having the opportunity helps).  Also, there is men in Chorale and they are capable of much more awesome sounds than me.